i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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