Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
