singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
