Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
