You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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