FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
