I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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