i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
