i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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