Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
