conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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