He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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