There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
