I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Randomize
