So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize