he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
