You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
