Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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