I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
