Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My ass is underappreciated
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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