Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
