In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
