He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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