You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
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