cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
