I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
