theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
