Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
