I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
