sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
