Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
