I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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