This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
