Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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