Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
