Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
