before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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