woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
