she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
did i just pee glitter
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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