xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
