wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
