How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
