barbara walters just said penis...
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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