So drunk, too bad you don't want this
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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