You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize