Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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