I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
