I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
