so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
