Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Damn victory sex feels great
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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