Already got asked if we're dating
My room smells like vodka and shame
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize