Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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