Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize