wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
