I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
