just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
