ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
