She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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