i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
