Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I've blown a few things in my day
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
