wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
