Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
