i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
My penis needs a shock collar
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
