Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
