Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize