He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
