Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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