At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
