This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
