It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
