I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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