I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
