Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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