So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
