You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
