Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
