I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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